It’s sad :(
LIKE, YOU’RE SO MAGULO AND I’M MAGULO TOO AND THAT’S ONE OF THE MANY REASONS WHY IT CAN’T WORK.
Weekend with these guys :))
May 18 - 19 2013
My sadness turned me into this productive young lady. Yes.
So I was so depressed and frustrated earlier this morning because of reasons and I can’t think of anything to do. Normally I would just go out and go see my friends but this day was different. I was so sad that I didn’t have the energy to do anything. All I wanted to do was to just think of ways to die or post something depressing on twitter. LOL. My friend even messaged me on Facebook and I did not even make an effort to reply properly. (I’m so sorry, Tina)
Anyway, just this afternoon, I thought, “I should make something. I should do something productive.” So I browsed on different design inspirations and started on this ‘small project’ I’ve been planning to do since last week. And it took my mind off things. Then, for an odd moment, everything just happened to be okay. I almost believed in the saying “Smile and the whole world will smile with you.”
So I finished my little project and started on self-branding. I’ve been squeezing the ideas out of my mind just to create a good, kick-ass, logo. BUT I JUST CAN’T. Although I am pretty happy with what I was able to develop. (Well, it was my idea for quite some time but I ‘improved’ it) Self-branding is really hard ugh since the person I am branding is myself and I don’t even understand myself. It’s like there are so many things I would like to consider but then I’d decide not to continue them then I’d go back to zero.
Anyway, I finished it (?) I think I finished it. Well if there are updates or improvements I can always edit it.
And uhm, just a while ago, I had this long and lovely conversation with my friend. I miss being able to rant and tell stories about random stuff. And she helped me through a lot. You see, this is what I like about talking to friends, you are able to share with them any-fucking-thing under the sun. And I was able to tell her things that I am worried about. My new-chapter-anxieties. And she, effortlessly, helped me through it. Without even knowing it. HAHA. (Thank you, Alyssa!)
Well anyway, since I’ve been productive this day I will have to be productive tomorrow as well. I want to keep myself busy as possible.
Sabi nga ni Sir Leo, “WORK! WORK! WORK!”
For the past few nights I’ve been listening to Silent Sanctuary, and thought of searching for the chords of their song “Kundiman” and play it annoyingly loud in my room. With my eyes closed, of course. (yehes naman)
And then just this afternoon, I thought of going back to the opm songs of early 2000s, and just you know, be with the moment. Play it loud and proud. Thank you, Youtube, for your ‘related videos’ feature.
I cannot even describe how much I love OPM. I don’t know exactly what genre, but I am just so proud of pinoy bands. I love how they create lyrics straight from their hearts. English or Tagalog, it’s still music. From mainstream to indie, they amaze the fuck out of me.
Anyway, here’s a list of songs for my afternoon. Just in case you want to listen to them, or you just want to reminisce how good MYX’s Daily Top 10 and Highschool days were. :)
Ikaw Lamang - Silent Sanctuary
Beer - Itchyworms
Love Team - Itchyworms
Kwarto - Sugarfree
Hari Ng Sablay - Sugarfree
Bakit Part 2 - Mayonnaise
KAI - Maryzark
4 2 - Maryzark
Will You Ever Learn - Typecast
The Boston Drama - Typecast
Chicosci Vampire Social Club - Chicosci
Last Look - Chicosci
7 Black Roses - Chicosci
Tensionado - Stonefree
Anghel - Stonefree
Pwede Ba - Soapdish
Define - Hilera
Sunburn - Sandwich
Sundo - Imago
Nobela - Join The Club
Dear Kuya - Sugarfree
Stormy Night - Pedicab
Gusto Ko Lamang Sa Buhay Ay - Itchyworms
Heaven Knows - Orange and Lemons
Hanggang Kailan - Orange and Lemons
Pick up that guitar and play.
Have a great rainy afternoon.
— Chandler to Joey, Friends Season 4
I think about this every time, especially when I go home by myself. Or when I’m at the backseat of a car on late-night trips.
There’s this time when I was riding a jeep to Vito Cruz and saw this guy. He’s sad, he was sitting at the backseat of a car, and since it’s already 8 in the evening on a weekday, the traffic was quite bad. He’s sad, and judging from his look it seems like he has this really huge problem that he cannot solve.
And that moment hit me. Hard.
Well, don’t get me wrong. Like a normal person OF COURSE I think about this stuff, but from that moment, the thought of this “Sonder” kicked in.
That there a lot of people in the world, and they’re all living their own lives. Different problems, stories and experiences.
So I was staring at him, (kind of weird, huh. i was a bit drunk that night) and I just kept on thinking what’s his thoughts were. Like maybe he and his girlfriend broke up, or maybe when he gets home he’d already be happy. Or wait, where is he heading? Home? To a friend’s house? Is he planning on getting drunk too? His thoughts, his thoughts. I sometimes wonder, if Jean Grey’s mutation exists, how does one able to comprehend each and every thought in the world?
Like, look around you. When you’re on your way home, those people waiting on sheds, hailing a cab, or just simply drinking a sago-gulaman or buying isaw & barbecue by the sidewalk. Them and their lives. Their sons and daughters, their siblings, their parents, their job, where are they heading? Home? Is there something they have to finish before going to sleep?
Who knows, maybe one of the thousands of people you see everyday, maybe one or two of them is going to be your friend, or your husband/wife someday.
It’s so complex. And it’s beautiful.